29 september 2009

hari berganti hari, september sebentar lagi akan berlalu.kenangan manis akan september sebentar lagi akan berganti oktober,entah apa yang ada di bulan oktober, aku pun tak tau.

aku tak mau tau, mungkin akan terlalu menyakitkan atau menyenangkan, aku tak mau tau.

mengingat smua knangan yang ada di september, sangatlah membuat bahagia, tapi juga membuat perih hati.

122 hari bisa kulewati, dengan susah payah kulewati.jika harus kulewati 122 hari lagi, ya aku bisa, walaupun penuh luka karena keinginan untuk bertemu, aku bisa.

betul kata seseorang,terlalu berlebihan, memakai hati.

bagaimana bisa? tak tau, tiba-tiba saja smua itu tumpah, seperti air yang sudah dijaga dengan baik, namun tetap saja terkena goncangan yang lembut dan membuat smuanya tumpah.

perasaan yang dijaga dengan ketatnya,agar tak terlalu berharap, namun tetap pada akhirnya semua gagal, perasaan itu meledak dengan sendirinya, penuh harapan, harapan yang tak pasti namun dipercaya, berusaha untuk bertahan akan rasa cinta.

cinta yang menyakitkan hati,cinta yang tak ingin berpisah, cinta yang ingin bertemu, cinta yang lembut, cinta yang membuat jarak, cinta yang membuat gila.

berat,tapi aku bertahan,aku percaya,aku berusaha,bagaimana dengan kamu?

aku akan menunggu,sampai bisa bertemu kembali, aku akan menunggu.apapun arti yang dimaksud menunggu, aku akan menunggu, aku janji, tapi akankah kamu mau?

semua berarti kalau kamu mau. ada di pilihanmu, sekarang aku hanya menunggu kamu akan mengatakan apa.

cinta.itu benar,rasa yang ada padaku untukmu

kutau kalau ku tlah benar-benar jatuh cinta.

letting you go, behind the glass. i lie if i say i say goodbye to you with big smile.

small smile,holding tears drop hope you cant see how sad i am,

going to miss you more bad than before after this day.

thank you for this 5 days, full of happiness, laugh, love, crazyness.

will never say goodbye cause i know i will see you again.

keep missing you until the time we meet again

27 september 2009

haven't write about 9 days? been busy lately.not of study, not of homework, it just holiday.

really nice holiday i get this time.

holiday start at 19 september 2009.

doing nothing at that day until 22 septemebr 2009.22 september, cleaning my room, change bed cover, sweeping also.

23 september, going to airport pick up y.

23-27 spending time with y.been lovely day.

27 go to airport again, y going back.

now? at home. doing nothing, seing photo that i take lately.thinking about tomorrow class start again.holiday finish.

18 september 2009

miracle.god helps me to wake up at 5.30 in the morning.i have class,chinese class at 7.15.

we're gonna have small test for today. arrive at school at 7.11!

the test have 4 part.part one is translate from english to mandarin.

for example : 1. coca cola = kekou kele. (seriously, this is weird, kekou kele??wkwk)

then the part two is conversation.

ex : A= ...............?

B= wo ye hen hao.

part 3! which i just fill one number from ten number.

ex: 1. he is not a doctor. (translate )

part 4! dictation!!! oh my god. hopefully what i heard and what i write is correct.

let see the result next two week!

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holiday starts today! untill 27(sunday).

28 class start again.just one week study then i have midterm for one week from october 5-11.

and after that week, i have my birthday week at 16. october, huh.

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wish days move faster except for 23-27(slow as it can be).

cause i want to be in next year.iinternship,work.6 months.

cmon,help me god so i can get the job for my intern in you know where i want to.

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5 more days.

with you.

hahaha

belajar dari pengalaman,jangan terlalu buka hati lebar-lebar buat orang lain.kenapa?hampir kebanyakan hati itu bakalan terluka.sama aja kalo ngomong masalah suka.suka sama orang nyenengin hati banget.seneng banget,iya gak?pasti berbunga-bunga terus.tapi kalo udah ditambah air mata, itu semua udah berubah ke cinta.bener apa enggak?gw juga gak tau sih .cuman, apa yang gw rasain ya seperti itu.sakit.seneng.sakit.seneng.ini kedua kalinya gw terlalu suka sama orang.bukan kedua kalinya gw sayang orang dan kehilangan, tapi suka sama orang yang gw mati-matian tahan rasa sakitnya , seakan gak ada walaupun kerasa banget di sini.sakit.air mata gak tau udah berapa kali jatoh.

walaupun gw kira-kira tau akhirnya mungkin kaya gimana, cuman boleh kan berharap?

boleh kan?seenganya, boleh kan kalo gw berharap setidaknya gw bisa muncul di hati lo walaupun itu hanya titik kecil yang berada di noda besar orang lain buat di hati lo?

gastric?

from the morning.

even standing up is hard.why? i don't know. maybe late of having meal? i dont think so.

already eat medicine, but still .

i had fun with motorcycle lately.before i drive this thing, usually i walk if i want to go somewhere near home.or with a bicycle.since the bicycle has pass to my nephew, then i dont have it again.

this i picture i take from google, but yeah, it's my bike before,the different just the colour.mine is red.

and every friend of mine hang out at my house, they usually want to ride my bike.is it fun? for me,not too.maybe when i'm 15 yeas old yes it is fun, after that..no.

and now, the motorcycle or the scooter..is just like this..automatic.just put the key, switch on, then press start.voala!

what if..

i'm afraid

of losing you.

i just cant imagine.

lately this weather almost kiling me. i check at yahoo weather cast, and it shows about 37-40°C degrees! it's feel like sunbathing in a desert.

become worst everyday. suppose it's rainy season at indonesia at september, isn't it? but where is the rain?????!!! i need rain!!!! do i need like ancient when they need rain, they sacrifice something, do i need like that?? hahahahahaha,scary if like that.

pleaseee...let it rain god, give us one more rainy day.it's too damn hot here

15 september 2009

god,this is the second week i was late to class.again. wake up at 8.30 which my friend call to wake me up,but still.after saying "yeah, i wake up now.bye" i go to sleep again.

i have this problem of waking up since in high school.so i arrive in class with hungry stomach, pale face of shock cause late,in rush, messy hair. argh,i don't care anymore as long i enter class and be absent!

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8days,one week plus one day more.

thinking how fun could it be, how sweet would it be.oh god, please make this memorable,unforgetful,you know..something that could be sweet loving passion things?

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many birthday coming up o september , october, the most december.

so yesterday, when i walk with a bunch friends, i realize one of us missing.the korean girl.

i ask to ibo ''hey, where is ha nul kim? why she's not at class today?"

" ha nul going to korea." she said.

me,shockingly hear what she said cause last time last holiday she going back to korean already..it's like three time going back korea.omg, go there not cheap!expensive!about 8 million maybe?

"what???! she's going to korea again???? for what?!holiday even not start yet!" i said

"her boyfriend birthday,she want to go back there so she can celebrate with him.crazy huh." ibo say to me.

seriously it's crazyyyy...korea to damn far!it's like 24hour to go there..or less...but still far far far!

arghh i'm jealoussss.....

gaby also..she said to me, she going to malaysia like 3oktober? just one day celebrate birthday with her boyfriend?then going back at 4? haiz..

Sempurna by- andra and the backbone

kenapa sih ini lagu enak banget....salah satunya dari sekian ribu lagu indonesia yang gw suka.

kau begitu sempurna
di mataku kau begitu indah
kau membuat diriku
akan selalu memujamu

di setiap langkahku
ku kan selalu memikirkan dirimu
tak bisa ku bayangkan
hidupku tanpa cintamu

* janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
takkan mampu menghadapi semua
hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

reff:
kau adalah darahku
kau adalah jantungku
kau adalah hidupku
lengkapi diriku
oh sayangku kau begitu
sempurna, sempurna

kau genggam tanganku
saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
kau bisikkan kata
dan hapus semua sesalku

11 september 2009

lately almost everyday i update this blog, feel like into this things.bored of browsing songs which nothing new has come out, also bored of facebook.yesterday i meet my sister at mall after class then we have lunch together.finally i eat fried bun with sweet and sour crab souce, accompany ice honey peach tea.sweet! we talk about many things.from boyfriend until girlfriend, family to friends, good to bad . then, luckily or unluckily i bring this notebook and open facebook again...

see her,see him,see many people that we talk about.

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well today, chinese test cancel, second class cancel, third class cancel.

seriously, if this continue to next week, then, what do i get from studying in this university?

my dad pay alot for this! yea i know this fun, have no class so can go home faster, but, like this always i also dont want. like playing more, study less.

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i been introduce to J last couple day. friend of a friend.

but i told already that i'm into someone right now. less or not,believe or not, i'm in love. someone far away.waiting to meet for the second time

Today i heard from some people,comment about myself. basically most of the comment is simple but mean(in bad way).

people said that when they first saw me when still not know each other, they will think of me as an arrogant girl with smug face. i had a smug face! seriously..most people said that.and i have an evil eye of looking people.

so.comment about myself from people when they saw me for the very first time wether in photo or in reality or just passing by.

1. smug face

2.arrogant

3.evil eye

4.socialite

5.fashionista

6.naughty

7.party girl

seriously.i'm not that kind. i am not!!! i dont know why they said like that,

but in the good way, they say something again,

"But, if you already knew her... she totally different from what we think.she's not like that."

see...? and totally different into :

1. nice

2.friendly

3.kind

4.imaginative

5.mature

6.independent

7.funny

.but still...why ppl say i have smug face..i still cant believe..

oh the most unimportant things that my sister ex said that i have this kind of sensual flirting thing in my eye when i look at people and talk to them.

wtf!!!! seriouslyy.....

(y.....when u finally meet me, tell me all of this is true or not.)hhhhhh

love can be the most beautiful thing in this life,

but ,

can also be the saddest thing.

very, very sad.

this quote i took from a book title Abarat. when henry murkitt die,decide to suicide because of love.

what do you think of love?

10 september 2009

update blog at class now.english class which is so boring. luckily this university have wifi internet every class, so i use this benefit as much as i can get.luckily i also bring my laptop,which every thursday gonna be boring day,unimportant subject.

still 45 minute to break.thinking of eating fruit which just last maybe for 39 minute, or eat vegetable which also can last maybe couple hour.btw, i gain weight 1 kg.also while listening to touch your button by wyclef jean feat will.i.am(nice song!) and all the time looking at phone wether there's message from someone far away there,(Y,still hasnt wake up?haha)

look around, infront of me, there's stevi with her lovely laptop,put all of her attention to play restaurant city at facebook.beside me, right.there's yoon young jae, silly cute teenager boy who like to flirt(used to get close long time ago,he's funny though,) and right now he also busy of putting his mind of rubrix.trying with all of his energy make all the cube same colour.ahahaha i try already and that's hard.

behind me there's gabriela,one of my circle friend at university,out of circle which is when we're not in university,we go each other way.mean? she hang out with i dont know who,me with other friends.like that. i don't know exactly what is she doing but i'm pretty sure she's now msn with her boyfriend which is already goin back to malaysia,kuala lumpur.he study there.

in my left? nothing.there's wall. i like to sit near wall.not like to get attention too much sit in the center.let me squeeze there.

Pixie haircut❢❢❢

seriouslyyy i do want hair makeover!!!! pixie haircut is a trend for now right? most of my friend have this pixie style.. short and stylish. i really do want! i ask to many people how about this, and all of them, almost all of them said that my hair right now is the best, dont cut,dont change, they like it better now.perfection.beautifull.

i will think 10000000x times to make over my hair.at least i still have time untill this end of year, or maybe i gonna cut next year? still don't know. let see my insanity to keep this hair or let it go.

8 september 2009

still, cant wake up from sleep in the morning.i think i already late for four times in this week and last week.why? cause i'm too lazy open my eyes.thinking there's still time for lying on bed. so today i miss one class, which is bartending theory class. but i still go to campus for second class;front office practical which only for 1 hour. then for the third class which is housekeeping theory...the lecture didnt come! why? she visiting other lecture(young handsome lecture,the youngest than the other) because he was in hospital, operation.don't know why.

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today Sucks.really... for the bad weather, which is really really damn hot. hot in jakarta and tangerang define by if you stand in one place which you can see the sky really long..just stand.i believe in half an hour u can pass out cause the damn hot. see, i can't stand anymore..

also BBM! why all the time it must lag when sending message!!

oh, i clean up my room also today..more clean and tidy..

before i clean my room, when i webcaming with Y, i show my room(the table especially), then guess what Y say?

look like after war, or world war -something like that.. hahahaha

6 september 2009

since it's 12.07 AM and my blackberry said already september of six.today is so fun, even i was late of waking up,,i sleep almost 14 hours dear said.and wake up because of message,which told me to wake up.see, i have to arrange my sleep time, can't continue like this forever.

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today i just hang out with bunch of friends,having dinner,let the stress out. i've been thinking about buying polaroid,yes i will buy but dont know when..maybe next week or 2 more weeks.

webcaming with Y too,everytime chat make me happy,i don't know why but i will always laugh,it's good for me though. counting days too meet Y

4 sept 2009

boring boring boring, sleepy sleepy sleepy! why every day so sleepy,even i have much sleep, but in time when i have to get up at 6 am, still cant get up.every day late to study for almost one hour.

i must change this,,schedule of my sleep time.

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AJ Rafael

i hve been watching this guy singing on outube almost for one week,since melissa told me about him. he has good voice,kinda like ne yo or chris brown, kinda that..

i cant upload now, cause lately my internet connection damn slow for upload things.

if we ever- david guetta feat makeba

I've been fragile for a long time
A big old hole inside my heart
And I was searching through the valley
Stumbled on love in the dark

Was afraid to try but afraid to never know
What it feels like to be loved
Had a hill to climb
but the places we could go
Oh, I gotta know

So if we ever, fell in love
Would the wind know, would the _____ go, oh
So if we ever, fell in love
Oh, oh, oh

I was empty it was all gone
The birds would sing but made no sound
Till I met you, found I was all wrong
You picked me up right off the ground

Was afraid to try, and afraid i'd fall again
crashing down from the sky, you know
Had a hill to climb, but when_________
That's the one thing, we all wanna know

So if we ever, fell in love
Would the wind blow, would the ____ go, oh
So if we ever fell in love
Oh, oh, oh

I just wanna know, I just wanna know
tell me tell me so, baby I just wanna know
(repeat x4)

So if we ever fell in love
would the wind know, would the ____ go, oh
(yeah) so if we ever fell in love
Oh, oh, oh

So if we ever fell in love
oh, I wanna know what it feels lïke to be loved